My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
