Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
