Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
