I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
