I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
