Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
