Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i now understand why vodka
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
