I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
