It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
