On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
