She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
