Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think my moral compass just broke
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
