Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
