we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
