Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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