can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
