Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
