she looked like the before picture.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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