Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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