I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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