I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
