Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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