It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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