I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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