You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
