Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
