Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
