I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
