I heard we made out
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
