She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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