Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize