he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
