I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
