why didn't you poke me back
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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