I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
