I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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