Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize