OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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