But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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