My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
