My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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