I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
