So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize