just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dignity is for republicans.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
