Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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