I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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