this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
