No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
