Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
