STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
