I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
