Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
