Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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