There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Holy sore nipples Batman
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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