Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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