After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
