I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
