smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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