Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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