Do you still have your period?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
