I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize