I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
