So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize